Our Approach
Our basic approach here involves being with what’s happening moment to moment - in the nervous system, in the emotions, in the freewheeling spin of your mind. That could sound like an intense process. And it can be. But it can also be a kind of great adventure: discovering more and more about who you are…making space for old patterns to fall away and new - more consciously chosen - ways of being to form. It can a be a lot more playful and exciting than a person might think as well….
My role is to stay calm and curious. It seems that being accompanied by someone who stays open and compassionate can make a big difference here. The more you feel safe in the basic sense that I’m not judging you…that I’m on your team…the more you can explore the both intense difficulties and emerging and awesome possibilities. I walk beside you in that. No hurry, no judgement, no advice. Just slowing down and paying deep attention to what’s going on in whatever you want to share of your depths.
Lastly, We work with the structure and practicality of evidence-based modes of therapy. And we root those practical tools in the wisdom and spacious heart of ancient spiritual traditions. It's a potent combination.
Our approach to wellness counselling involves four components
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Here we spend time noticing - moment to moment - what is happening in the body with a basic attitude of respect and compassion. Often, the body and its sensations can be uncomfortable or overwhelming. But with a careful, gentle approach, it becomes possible to meet the sensations in a way that feels relatively calm, safe and grounded. This opens up the possibility of interrupting stressful old nervous system patterns and gradually replacing them with patterns which are more calm, relaxed and resilient.
We often start out with the feeling that nervous system activation (fight, flight, freeze impulses) are something happening to us - like something imposed on us from the outside world that we have to somehow deal with. Through somatic work, we gradually shift into the feeling that our nervous system is working for us. So we begin to become more skilful in letting it do its thing…in a way that leads eventually to a greater sense of joy and well-being.
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The four approaches we use here include Cognitive Behavioural, Dialectical Behaviour, Narrative Therapy and Non-Violent Communication.
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Using spiritual inquiry to define values and make meaning of life’s challenges. Applying techniques like meditation to reduce stress and deepen stillness.
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A big part of the work we do with emotions involves the attitude of a kind, wise old grandmother who’s seen it all. The idea then is to sit and walk along with the emotions in gentle accompaniment: giving them a world of space and time in which they can be deeply seen, deeply felt. The other part of the work,…if those emotions have been held down for years and years..is to give them an opportunity to come and and be more fully part of the lived body.
The real focus of these sessions is to meet you where you’re at. So that involves on my part some kind of commitment to genuine openness: giving space for you to be you whatever that might look like. One part of that is setting aside ideas of how you should be. How would I know how you should be? How would anyone? I’ll sit with you in the surprise of who you are on any given day - what might be newly unfolding for you. No fixed images.
Another part of this is working with you to build a little culture of two for the sessions - something that suits you. The ground for building this is some kind of authenticity. I’m not very worried about showing up in a way that matches peoples’ expectations of how a counsellor should talk. I’m not a big one for fake smiles or using a bunch of therapy speak. My concern is showing up with you in a way that supports you in feeling relaxed and safe. Over time we become more unshakeable - better able to meet intense energies with a bit of raw grace.